I really am sorry for not writing more recently. Somewhat sorry to you the reader, but more sorry for myself because I love writing way more than you love reading my writing, seriously. I do plan to carve out more time for this soon. I have not waned in my lack of faith….I am still very much an atheist….but life has been getting in the way of life lately.
Interesting issues coming soon…
-my newest baby’s baptism into the Catholic Church
-my telling more family members about my “struggles” with faith
-the possibility that my Christian boss and coworkers may be putting some clues together about my not quite fitting in with them…
-an update on how my Christian wife is handling things
Meanwhile, I really have been having a good time lately. Work is going well and has been recently involving more fun and interesting extracurriculars outside of normal business hours. In fact, my only recent downer has been that a very good friend and atheist has moved many many miles from me…(she sometimes reads this blog, so a good loud “boo” from the choir would be helpful right about now).
Thank you to those of you who were reading regularly and have continued to check in on me. To those of you who quit checking in…well, I’ve got a few words for you but since you won’t see them, I’ll keep them to myself.
Showing posts with label About Mike. Show all posts
Showing posts with label About Mike. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
finally...an update of sorts
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Happily Distracted
Yes, I've been a bit quiet here lately. I've been preparing for the arrival of a new addition to my family. My wife gave birth to a beautiful boy today!!!!!!!!!!!!
So...thank you for your patience, I'll resume posting very soon.
So...thank you for your patience, I'll resume posting very soon.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Looking Back
In a conversation with a family member, I was asked this week regarding my Christian conversion experience: "How do you view that now?"
My response:
I view that experience as an important step for me in becoming a better person. I think the surrounding personal circumstances played a big part, not just the Christianity. While I wouldn't recommend my path to others as the way to get from one point to another, I don't reject those choices and experiences as illegitimate or bad.
I recently encountered an interesting exercise: writing a letter to yourself at a certain point in your past. Apparently, this helps you identify things that you now think about past experiences that might not otherwise occur to you. If I were writing a letter to myself that I could somehow go back and receive in the fall of 1998, I think it would include this note..."In your effort to figure out what life is about, you will encounter Christians who are ready and willing to share interesting thoughts and confident answers from their worldview. Pay attention to their input and familiarize yourself with what the Christian worldview is all about. But, as 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says, "Test everything, hold fast to what is good." Don't lock yourself into accepting everything that one worldview presents to you as truth. Keep an open mind. Seek to gain the "benefit" or the "good" from various systems of thought. Be just as willing to lend an ear to the naturalist as the supernaturalist, to the atheist and the theist, to the evolutionist and the creationist. When something seems absurd, try to figure out why some people don't see the absurdity of it at all. Be humble."
My response:
I view that experience as an important step for me in becoming a better person. I think the surrounding personal circumstances played a big part, not just the Christianity. While I wouldn't recommend my path to others as the way to get from one point to another, I don't reject those choices and experiences as illegitimate or bad.
I recently encountered an interesting exercise: writing a letter to yourself at a certain point in your past. Apparently, this helps you identify things that you now think about past experiences that might not otherwise occur to you. If I were writing a letter to myself that I could somehow go back and receive in the fall of 1998, I think it would include this note..."In your effort to figure out what life is about, you will encounter Christians who are ready and willing to share interesting thoughts and confident answers from their worldview. Pay attention to their input and familiarize yourself with what the Christian worldview is all about. But, as 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says, "Test everything, hold fast to what is good." Don't lock yourself into accepting everything that one worldview presents to you as truth. Keep an open mind. Seek to gain the "benefit" or the "good" from various systems of thought. Be just as willing to lend an ear to the naturalist as the supernaturalist, to the atheist and the theist, to the evolutionist and the creationist. When something seems absurd, try to figure out why some people don't see the absurdity of it at all. Be humble."
Friday, August 8, 2008
About Mike
My name is Mike. I am an agnostic atheist. I am 29 years old. I live in Arkansas (where I was born and raised) and am married to a Christian wife and we have three young children.
I am new to atheism, having deconverted from Christianity earlier this year.
Up until today, I have only been known on the web as “Non Sicuro Pensatore”…a latin moniker meaning “uncertain thinker.”
I have recently chosen to be less fearful of the injuries that could result from my being honest about not being religious. I don’t intend to go screaming from the mountain-tops about my deconversion, but I do intend to stop pretending to still be a Christian.
Gratitude is certainly owed to my good friend who was the first to “hear my confession” and who has assisted me in seeing that it is more important (and healthy) to be honest than to carry on with internal conflicts over how to be and what to say. And thank you to the many fearless atheist acquaintances online who have also contributed to this realization.
I am not yet spelling out my last name and home address and phone number and mother’s maiden name, etc. But anyone who knows me in real life and happens to stumble into this blog will likely be able to put it together pretty easily.
I am new to atheism, having deconverted from Christianity earlier this year.
Up until today, I have only been known on the web as “Non Sicuro Pensatore”…a latin moniker meaning “uncertain thinker.”
I have recently chosen to be less fearful of the injuries that could result from my being honest about not being religious. I don’t intend to go screaming from the mountain-tops about my deconversion, but I do intend to stop pretending to still be a Christian.
Gratitude is certainly owed to my good friend who was the first to “hear my confession” and who has assisted me in seeing that it is more important (and healthy) to be honest than to carry on with internal conflicts over how to be and what to say. And thank you to the many fearless atheist acquaintances online who have also contributed to this realization.
I am not yet spelling out my last name and home address and phone number and mother’s maiden name, etc. But anyone who knows me in real life and happens to stumble into this blog will likely be able to put it together pretty easily.
Intro to my blog
This blog originally began anonymously in early April 2008 with the purpose of giving me an outlet for free thought, unimpaired by fear that someone I know might arrive here uninvited and read my most recent "dangerous" thoughts and think poorly of me.
I was a Christian. From my infant baptism through my “conversion” experience as a teenager, then onto serious-minded pursuits of authentic Christian living…choosing a Christian wife…having our children baptized…etc. I had made a considerable number of rather significant life choices based on my Christianity…surrounding myself with Christian friends working in a company that only employs Christians…etc.
Needless to say, as I began to seek real honesty with myself about my religious beliefs, I immediately faced a great deal of anxiety about being “caught.” It seemed prudent temporarily to remain anonymous as I explored the truth. I was doubting that I had ever honestly loved God. I knew very well that many of my religious notions felt very deep and genuine at times throughout my life, but I finally allowed myself to realize that I very clearly loved myself more than I loved God. I desired things which He would not desire. I did things He would not intend for me to do. I refrained from doing things He would want me to do. In other words, practically speaking, I was occupying the seat of "boss" in my life and not yielding to my God.
In days past, I had tried to muster up some sort of remorse or regret regarding any desires or activities that conflicted with my Christian faith, but I began to realize that I couldn't convince myself (and no longer wanted to) that I was sorry about such things. Finally, in March of this year, I gave up personally...inwardly, trying to avoid the thoughts which were opposed to my Christian faith.
And then I knew that I was no longer in "right relationship" with God, and I began to doubt that anyone could honestly be in "right relationship" with God. This caused me to wonder whether my whole notion of Christianity...or the general pursuit of reconciliation with an offended but ultimately loving God...was real.
Oddly, rather than this thought process being particularly traumatic or depressing, I felt somewhat uplifted and rather liberated....which was the most scary part I suppose. I have not been torn up or distressed emotionally. I have not been wandering around in any sort of disabled Eeyore-ish melancholy state. I've been quite fine actually. And I've come to accept that I am (if labels must be used) an agnostic atheist. With regard to having certainty or knowledge about gods, I say it is impossible. With regard to my own belief, I say that gods do not exist.
"You" (the audience) started out in very singular fashion, since I only “came out of the closet” with one good friend initially. But over these months, your numbers have grown as I have participated in various online discussions with Arkansas Atheists, Atheist Nexus, De-Conversion, and several great blogs. I still don’t have any intent to make this blog into a powerhouse site with record-setting numbers of visitors, and I certainly don’t set out to recruit visitors, or hand out business cards with this address on it.
But…the good news is that as I have continued to mature in my non-religious thoughts over the last few months, I have become less fearful of being “caught” and more interested to just be myself. So look out world…who knows what I might do next!
Cheers!
Mike
I was a Christian. From my infant baptism through my “conversion” experience as a teenager, then onto serious-minded pursuits of authentic Christian living…choosing a Christian wife…having our children baptized…etc. I had made a considerable number of rather significant life choices based on my Christianity…surrounding myself with Christian friends working in a company that only employs Christians…etc.
Needless to say, as I began to seek real honesty with myself about my religious beliefs, I immediately faced a great deal of anxiety about being “caught.” It seemed prudent temporarily to remain anonymous as I explored the truth. I was doubting that I had ever honestly loved God. I knew very well that many of my religious notions felt very deep and genuine at times throughout my life, but I finally allowed myself to realize that I very clearly loved myself more than I loved God. I desired things which He would not desire. I did things He would not intend for me to do. I refrained from doing things He would want me to do. In other words, practically speaking, I was occupying the seat of "boss" in my life and not yielding to my God.
In days past, I had tried to muster up some sort of remorse or regret regarding any desires or activities that conflicted with my Christian faith, but I began to realize that I couldn't convince myself (and no longer wanted to) that I was sorry about such things. Finally, in March of this year, I gave up personally...inwardly, trying to avoid the thoughts which were opposed to my Christian faith.
And then I knew that I was no longer in "right relationship" with God, and I began to doubt that anyone could honestly be in "right relationship" with God. This caused me to wonder whether my whole notion of Christianity...or the general pursuit of reconciliation with an offended but ultimately loving God...was real.
Oddly, rather than this thought process being particularly traumatic or depressing, I felt somewhat uplifted and rather liberated....which was the most scary part I suppose. I have not been torn up or distressed emotionally. I have not been wandering around in any sort of disabled Eeyore-ish melancholy state. I've been quite fine actually. And I've come to accept that I am (if labels must be used) an agnostic atheist. With regard to having certainty or knowledge about gods, I say it is impossible. With regard to my own belief, I say that gods do not exist.
"You" (the audience) started out in very singular fashion, since I only “came out of the closet” with one good friend initially. But over these months, your numbers have grown as I have participated in various online discussions with Arkansas Atheists, Atheist Nexus, De-Conversion, and several great blogs. I still don’t have any intent to make this blog into a powerhouse site with record-setting numbers of visitors, and I certainly don’t set out to recruit visitors, or hand out business cards with this address on it.
But…the good news is that as I have continued to mature in my non-religious thoughts over the last few months, I have become less fearful of being “caught” and more interested to just be myself. So look out world…who knows what I might do next!
Cheers!
Mike
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