Dear Christian Concerned About My Agnosticism,
You recent letter expressed that you are concerned about my loss of faith. It seems to you that I have lost my grip on truth or possibly that I never fully understood it in the first place. You suggest that we should both be open to dialogue about these things because this path I am now on is self-contradictory, as I can’t help but presuppose the existence of the Christian God even as I suggest that he may not exist at all, and is highly unlikely to exist in the way that Christians imagine that he does. And you want me to know that you are not trying to bully me back into a personal relationship with Jesus; you just want me to hear your heart and open my own heart to that God who is knocking on the door for me to invite him in.
Thank you for your concern. Allow me to assure you that I really am quite familiar with “truth” from the Christian’s standpoint. And I “know your heart” because my own “heart” was also very much consumed with following and serving Jesus Christ as my lord and savior for years before my recent de-conversion. I could almost write every word of your side of any conversation for you and have you give a hearty amen (including giving appropriate biblical footnotes).
Your sincerity and honesty are admirable insofar as they go, but the Christian “truth” prevents you from being completely intellectually honest. You do not recognize that your self-perceived openness to dialogue is not actually very open. Your apologetic methods force you to hear the words of atheists and agnostics with impenetrable incredulity. This does not make for a productive use of time and energy.
People generally want to spend time in conversation with other people who will at least reserve some inkling of some percentage of a possibility that the opposing view might be right. But when one person in the exchange presupposes something as grand as the existence of God (and not just any notion of a God, but the Biblically presented Christian God), then it is difficult to avoid rather immediate exasperation.
By all means, don’t let this letter squelch all semblance of conversation between us, but please be aware of my propensity toward frustration if you intend to continue coming to me with the posture exhibited in your recent letter.
Peace,
Non Sicuro Pensatore
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4 comments:
If I may ask, did you find life as a Christian as hallow, empty and nothing more than religion? Where you wanted something authentic, you found something fake. Where you wanted something that changed your life, you found hypocrisy and religiosity? So you decided it had nothing real to offer, and saw no reason not to question God's very existence?
This makes sense, I don't judge you in any way. Why follow an empty religion that has nothing authentic about it? I'm surprised that there aren't more atheist and agnostics due to the church being more about religion and less and less about Jesus.
You are right when you put the burden of proof on the Christian. I have pointed out philosophical fallacies with atheism, but at the same time I know that they exist because Christians are failing to show there is any life to their claims. We are failing to show people waiting to see tangible evidence of God's love anything worth taking a second look into who Jesus is.
I can give apologetics answers all day long, but if there is no power and life in a Christian that is a wonder to the world it is all for naught.
I have experienced encounters with God. I have felt His love, His power, His presence. I have seen people healed before my eyes when I have prayed for them, or when others have. I have experienced instant healing of a terrible sinus and upper respiratory infection where instantly I could breath freely and the pain and heaviness in my lungs released to feel light and free. At the same time feeling God's presence all over me. I have had people many times who I have never met before relate to me very specific knowledge about my life that they could not have known any other way than God telling them. I have experienced way too much to be convinced that Jesus isn't who He claims to be. I have encountered truth experientially as well as intellectually. My heart longs to communicate the reality of Christ to all people in an understandable and life changing way. I hope you will keep seeking truth.
Karla, thank you for your comment. The simple answer to your initial series of questions there is "no." But I see where you are going and I don't want you to feel like you are wasting your time and energy. Of course I am tempted to just jump in and agree with you that Christians are to blame because of hypocrisy and general intellectual and experiential failures, but ironically, I want to argue that the Christian church's problem is not that it is too much about religion. I'll try and find time to post more of my thoughts soon.
Be assured that I will always, in some manner, seek truth as you suggest, though our notions of truth are obviously not the same.
In the 15th century, Nicholas of Cusa is believed to have said, "...truth shines incomprehensibly within the darkness of our ignorance."
So if you didn't find Christianity empty, fake, lacking authenticity, or steeped in religion why did you turn from it? What did it for you? If you don't mind sharing, if it's too personal a question, I'll understand.
I don't mind sharing and as I stated in my previous comment, I'll post more as time permits. Thank you for your interest.
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